So Star Trek: Into Darkness came out on iTunes last week (I think). And I had some time last night after work and needed an escape. So I decided to drink some wine and blog about watching the movie.
I fell asleep about an hour in. That’s not the movie’s fault; that’s me being mentally and physically exhausted then pouring cheap wine on top of it.
Here’s how it went [The numbers are timestamps.]:
0:00 – Okay, I’ve already dropped my phone into my wine glass. But it takes a licking and keeps on ticking, so let’s gon’ crank that ST:ID one good time.
1:38 – Movie JUST started and Kirk’s fucking shit up on another planet. And Bones is with him instead of Sulu. FYI: Bones’ pessimism wears on me. Also, the character kinda gets on my damn nerves.
1:51 – The design of Nibaru reminds me of the way they dressed new planets on Farscape. But JJ Abrams has a much bigger budget of course.
2:08 – Haaaay, Sulu! How you doin’? How your mama doin’?
4:18 – Both Sulu and Uhura are stripping down to skin-tight body suits. I AM HERE FOR THIS.
5:27 – Okay, so we see Kirk and Bones swim down to the Enterprise. We don’t see Uhura swim, we see her get READY to swim (which was good, ngl). I feel like we got cheated out of seeing Uhura swim.
Also, who put a sock in Kirk’s pants?
I’m of two minds about Scotty’s accent in these films. Sometimes it feels like he overdoes it. I know that Simon Pegg is British and I think his wife is Scottish? Everytime he says “cannae”, it takes me right out of the flick.
Was James McAvoy busy?
On second thought, he probably was.
9:26 – Nyota mad.
She did make sure that Spock was safe and on-board before throwing her earpiece down. She probably cussed that dude out in three different Romulan dialects.
10:35 – Hi, Noel Clarke! Good to see you on the big screen.
Does this mean that Freema can be in the next ST movie? Please, please, please?
12:15 – First appearance of The Cumberbatch. Well, we hear his voice before we see his face. And what a voice it is. Say what you want about his looks but that voice is sinfully rich, like the finest dark chocolate.
12:45 – Man, Kirk is a freak and a ‘ho.
14:30 – Spock talking shit to Pike. I like it. “I’m expressing multiple attitudes simultaneously, sir. To which were you referring?” I gotta find a way to use that line at work.
14:45 – Pike giving Kirk this WORK. I like it when someone tells Kirk about himself. Spock and Bones are a bit too in lurve with Jim at this point to do what Pike’s doing.
17:58 – Yooo, Noel Clarke’s breaking my heart in this scene. All those tears brimming in his eyes that never spill over.
Also, the ‘batch is a freaking terror cell mastermind in this flick so far. Spoilers.
Seems like there’s more bromance than romance this time around. Spock gave Kirk a “Harpo, who dis woman?” look when Science Officer Wallace came on board.
37:08 – Watching Kirk accept Scotty’s resignation hurt. ‘Cause Scotty was right. They’re explorers, not soldiers.
Did Wallace think that Spock wouldn’t investigate her background? Haha. He knew something was up from jump street. You weren’t fooling him, honey.
38:10 Spock/Uhura is great. Uhura/Kirk would be hot, too. I’d just worry that Jim might give Nyota some alien STD, though. Or cheat – he doesn’t seem to be a relationship kind of guy.
44:25 – Acting Captain Sulu. I like the sound of that.
44:42 – Kirk’s telling these dudes to “lose the red shirts”. Heh, you’re not fooling me, Jim. They’re still gonna die, right?
46:04 – “If you test me, you will fail.” Holy sh*t, that was hot.
Even Bones thought so.
“Mr. Sulu, remind me to never piss you off.”
Sulu looked away from Bones like, “Too late.” Haha.
Sulu probably don’t like Bones either. That’s why we go together.
50:15 – In Which Nyota Uhura is a BAMF.
“You brought me here because I speak Klingon. Then, let me speak Klingon.”
I got tingles. LET HER SPEAK KLINGON, DAMNIT!
I was here and present for every part of that scene with Uhura and the Klingon. It should’ve been longer. Damn, that was good.
- I must have fallen asleep at this point.
56:30 Kirk just punched the shit out of John Harrison and dude didn’t even flinch. How rude.
57:57 – “Why aren’t we moving, Captain?” Hold on, I need a moment. HIS VOICE, Y’ALL. Man, listen, y’all can have those super muscle-y men like Vin Diesel and The Rock. I’ll be over here in my bunk for the tall, lanky guys with long, elegant fingers and VOICES of SIN. (cc: Tom Hiddleston) Judge me, I don’t care. Ahem. (P.S. Although, Vin Diesel has a sexy-ass voice, too.)
1:07 – Simon Pegg is getting so much screen time and I fear it’s at the expense of John Cho. Scotty’s not even on the damn ship anymore!
1:09:53 – The Cumberbatch even makes exposition sound sexy. Is it the accent? Anyways, hello, Khan reveal! I wonder what happened in the theatres at this point. Did people gasp?
1:15 – Ever wonder how/why Kirk moved up the ranks to Captain so fast? Was it just because he’s one of the ‘best and brightest’? Spock’s brighter and better as a leader – possibly less gullible as well. Marcus and Khan are playing Kirk like a child’s toy.
1:17:40 – I see you Aisha Hinds! Yay, for more PoC on the bridge! Boo for them being in bit roles with few if any lines.
1:36 – Whoa, Khan just popped Marcus’ head open like a pimple. Gross.
1:43 – This movie franchise loves leaving hanging Kirk off things.
1:48 – Spock is sprinting to see Kirk. Nyota might wanna get mad about that. They’re really taking this bromance all the way in this movie, aren’t they? That’s cool, the Spock/Kirk ‘shippers are probably happy as hell. Makes Uhura look like a third wheel, though, and that I can’t abide.
2:03 – So that was cool. Felt like Uhura and Sulu got shortchanged in terms of screentime. Don’t know why we needed Science Officer Wallace/Marcus as a character, although Alice Eve is very cute. Still, it was a fun adventure and I can’t wait for the next one.
Have you seen Star Trek: Into Darkness yet? If so, what did you think? Did you see it in the theatre or at home on DVD/iTunes/Amazon Prime/some other streaming service? If you haven’t why not?
Filed under: blogging